Almost Family
by Marie Tomas
Summary: A couple of years after the Marauders leave Hogwarts, Remus goes to Godric's Hollow to pay one of his regular visits to James, Lily and baby Harry. Not long after he arrives, he realises that Sirius is also there for a visit, too, looking as handsome as ever. To Remus's surprise, Sirius decides that in the face of an uncertain future, it's about time to confess something to Remus.


**Notes:** A post-Hogwarts Remus/Sirius 'getting together' story, set roughly two years after their seventh year. Featuring a married James and Lily, and baby Harry. Takes place at Lily and James's home in the village of Godric's Hollow. There's some angst, but also lots of fluff and romance.

* * *

 **Almost Family**

* * *

"All right there, Moony?"

Remus had barely knocked twice on James and Lily's front door at their family home in Godric's Hollow-and answered the necessary security questions that he always encouraged his fellow Marauders to employ whenever they paid visits-when James had flung the door open and greeted Remus with a smile.

"Hello, James," Remus told him with a smile of his own, before James pulled him in for a hug.

James had always been affectionate, even all the way back in their first year at Hogwarts when the Marauders had initially become friends, and it was difficult not to feel safe and relaxed and happy whenever James was around, in spite of all the doom and gloom in the wizarding world at the moment.

"Hi, Remus!"

From behind James's back, Remus could see Lily approaching him in the hallway that led from the Potters' front door to the kitchen. She was holding her three month old son in her arms, and baby Harry was wide awake, wrapped in his favourite blanket and silently looking around at them all with wide, green eyes, like he was curious about the scene and the people around him.

Remus smiled and waved at Lily, thinking about how perfectly she fit in here, in this cozy cottage in this little village with her husband and son. Of course, the circumstances of their being here were less than ideal, but still, Lily and James seemed to be making the best of the situation, especially now that they had their baby son's safety to consider along with their own.

Remus couldn't help thinking about an evening just after they'd finished their last ever week at Hogwarts, when James and Lily had decided to get married, reluctant to wait any longer when they were in the midst of a wizarding war and nobody knew what could happen from one day to the next.

"Remus, I'm getting married! In three days!" Lily had practically screamed at him, sounding shocked and a little bit frantic as she took yet another swig from her bottle of firewhiskey to calm herself down.

Remus had felt nervous on her behalf; she and James hadn't been going out for very long at the time, after only becoming a couple in their seventh year at school, and since that final year, everything around them had seemed to be so new, so uncertain. Not to mention that Lily had been a little bit scared at the very idea of being a bride, as it had seemed like such a major step to take after only just completing their education at Hogwarts, when they still all felt so young.

But now, Lily and James looked as happy as it was possible to be given the current circumstances, and the name 'Lily Potter' fell easily from all of their lips now in conversations. Harry had also been a perfect addition to their little family, and the two of them were wonderful parents.

"He's missed his Uncle Moony!" James told Remus, apparently noticing that Remus was looking fondly at Harry.

"I've missed him, too," Remus told James with a grin, secretly feeling grateful that James always included him in things like this, grateful that Lily and James had always treated all of their friends like their extended family, especially after Remus hadn't been able to see them as much as he'd have liked lately due to his work with the Order.

Yet as he brushed a hand gently over Harry's few soft strands of jet-black hair in greeting, he couldn't help feeling a little twist of emotion; it was like a pang of longing for something he'd lost that he'd never really had in the first place.

"No Peter today?" Lily asked Remus in a would-be casual voice, although it was easy for Remus to pick up on the note of concern in her tone.

Remus shrugged and shook his head, trying to look casual, too, although he really had no idea what Peter was up to lately, or why he seemed to be avoiding all of his friends. Deep down, Remus had always feared that the Marauders would drift apart after they left Hogwarts, and now he was worried that Peter was already proving this point.

"Oh well," Lily shrugged in response, although she looked a little bit sad, in spite of the brave face she seemed to be putting on. Remus knew that since seventh year, Lily had come to consider all of James's friends as her friends, too, and she therefore missed Peter's frequent visits. "Order business comes first, I suppose. I'm sure we'll see him again soon…"

"Ah, don't worry, Lily; Wormtail'll come around eventually."

Remus jumped a little at the sound of the all-too-familiar voice, realising that he wasn't the only one here for a visit today. He looked up and instantly noticed Sirius, who had apparently been lurking in the shadows behind James and Lily, leaning against the kitchen door frame with his arms folded, his dark hair looking sleek and shiny.

Remus's breath caught as he took in the sight of his friend. He couldn't help wondering how it was possible to look so effortlessly handsome at all times the way that Sirius did. In Remus's eyes, anyway.

For years, he'd managed to shrug off thoughts like this, telling himself that what he was feeling for Sirius Black was just a strong sense of admiration, a deep friendship. Remus was good at denying his feelings after all, even to himself. But as he'd got older, it had become harder and harder to ignore his innermost desires.

The moment Remus caught his eye, Sirius smirked and winked at him, and Remus really had to fight off the urge to blush or smirk and duck his head, the way that all the witches at Hogwarts had done when attractive boys spoke to them.

"Good to see you, Moony," Sirius told him quietly from across the hallway, almost as though the two of them were sharing some sort of secret.

"Good to see you too, Padfoot," Remus replied to him, still feeling a little bit shy, even though he knew that this was ridiculous, when he'd known Sirius for years, and he'd once seen him every day, back when they were at Hogwarts.

For a moment, Remus was sure that he caught James looking between the two of them with a smirk, but then James's expression grew more serious as he seemed to think of something. "Look at this!" he announced, before he walked towards the stairs to grab hold of a leather jacket that had been hanging over the banister.

As soon as he'd put the leather jacket on, James beckoned to Sirius to join him, and Sirius did just that, leaving his spot by the kitchen door to join James in the hall, loyally following his best friend, as always.

As Sirius got closer to James, Remus noticed that he was also wearing a leather jacket. He had to suppress a gasp that was brought on by his sense of awe and appreciation. Remus loved it when Sirius wore leather jackets.

James and Sirius stuck a pose, standing back-to-back with their arms folded and playfully pouting.

Remus felt rather under-dressed in comparison, in his Muggle trousers and plain white jumper.

"What do you think, Moony?" James asked with a grin as he continued to pose with Sirius.

Remus knew that he couldn't say what he was _really_ thinking, because then he would have to admit that his mind was currently waging a war between the side that believed that he and Sirius would only ever be friends, and another side that was imagining ripping Sirius's leather jacket off bit by bit with his teeth, then possibly taking the rest of his clothes off along the way while Sirius whispered words of encouragement…

Luckily, Lily spared him from having to say anything. "They have matching leather jackets now," she told Remus as she pretended to sigh in exasperation and she jokingly rolled her eyes at her husband and his best friend.

"Very dashing," Remus told them sarcastically with a grin, trying to laugh along, although he couldn't prevent an image from suddenly appearing in his mind of Sirius and Marlene spending time together a few weeks ago: Sirius had been wearing a leather jacket then, too, and he'd been outside the cottage, showing off his motorbike and arguing with Lily, who'd been insisting over and over that Sirius was _not_ allowed to take Harry for a ride on it, while Marlene, who'd also been wearing a leather jacket of her own as she paid a visit to the Potters, had laughed along the whole time, before she'd pulled Sirius in for a hug.

Remus couldn't help the rush of jealousy that seemed to take over his mind and body at the memory of it, and even now, he felt a strange desire to kick something, the way he'd always felt back at school whenever Sirius had been flirting with pretty girls.

This time, it was James who interrupted Remus's not-so-pleasant thoughts: "Glad you like the jackets, Moony," he grinned. "Padfoot and I got them to impress all the ladies, and-"

Whoever else they were trying to impress, Remus didn't find out, because Sirius chose that moment to aim a kick at James's shin, temporarily rendering James speechless, apart from one loud cry of, "Oomph!"

Lily also chose that moment to glare pointedly at her husband.

"Well, mine's to impress one lady and one lady only, of course," James eventually added, as he looked sheepishly at Lily.

Lily might have rolled her eyes and called James an arrogant prat, but she still leaned in for a kiss when James moved closer to her.

As they kissed, looking as in love as ever, Remus couldn't help feeling another strange pang of…loneliness.

"My turn! My turn!" Sirius suddenly called out, almost like he too was eager for a change of subject.

He sounded a bit like a child for a moment; a child who was trying to grab hold of a cool new toy. As he spoke, he held his arms out enthusiastically in Harry's direction.

Lily sighed as she was forced to move away from James, and she also called Sirius a few choice words, but she handed the baby over to his godfather.

"He's missed his Uncle Padfoot, too," said Sirius, the moment Harry was in his arms, using the 'baby voice' that he frequently used when he was around Harry-the kind of voice that he wouldn't have been caught dead using back at Hogwarts, where Sirius Black had always been considered to be one of the coolest boys in Gryffindor.

"Come and have a cup of tea with me," Lily suggested to Remus after she'd rolled her eyes in Sirius's direction, who was now so busy telling Harry in a sing-song voice that he would take him out flying one day that he barely seemed to notice much else.

Remus nodded, feeling glad for an excuse to miss out on a few demonstrations of practical joke items and spells that James had just decided he wanted to show to Sirius.

Through the open kitchen door, Lily pointed her wand at the kettle. Then, with a smile, she grabbed hold of Remus's hand so that she could lead him into the kitchen.

Automatically, Remus glanced in James's direction, but his friend didn't seem to be bothered by the affectionate gesture. Lily and Remus had often held hands or linked arms as they walked around Hogwarts together or strolled around the grounds deep in conversation, and not once had James got upset about it or acted jealous in any way. They'd even shared cups of tea together at Madam Puddifoot's in Hogsmeade sometimes, because Remus and Lily had always liked the tea shop and James and Sirius had always hated it. Even then, James had happily let them go so that he could go for a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks with Sirius and Peter.

Although James had always understood that Remus was a very private person and he'd never pushed him to reveal things he didn't want to reveal, deep down, Remus suspected that James had guessed a lot more about him than he let on. Especially when it came to the type of person who Remus was _really_ romantically attracted to.

* * *

A few minutes later, Remus sat at the kitchen table opposite Lily with a hot cup of tea in his hands. There had always been something very warm and cozy about the kitchen here: there was a constant smell of cooking and baking; the kettle was always whistling away as it heated up; there were always various pots and pans being cleaned in the sink with a little help from magic; there was always tea and cake on the table.

The place felt much more like a home than the small, dingy flats that Remus always seemed to stay in as he travelled around, carrying out Order business, with very little money in his pocket as he went.

Apparently, Lily liked having cups of tea in the kitchen with Remus, because he was the only one of the Marauders who could sit still for long enough to have a deep, detailed conversation about the more 'boring' topics that always needed to be discussed. Or so she'd told him, anyway.

At first, the two of them made general conversation about the limited information they were allowed to share related to their work with the Order, and they updated each other on what they knew of the other members.

Every now and again, they heard the occasional crash and bang coming from the direction of the living room, and the sound of wands emitting sparks.

"Be careful with the baby!" Lily shouted out through the kitchen door every few minutes, the way she always did.

Briefly, Remus wondered if James and Sirius might have tried to set up some sort of wizarding joke shop, if there hadn't been a war going on and they'd had a bit more freedom to do what they wanted post-Hogwarts. That way, they could have helped current Hogwarts students with their practical jokes for years. But then Remus decided that he didn't want to think too much about what-ifs and what-could-have-beens; all he could do was hope that they would win the war, and that things might get better after that.

Perhaps sensing that Remus was allowing his not-so-pleasant thoughts to take over, Lily started to show him one of the photo albums she'd been putting together recently. Lily had always liked taking photos at Hogwarts, and by the end of seventh year she'd made a whole album of photos of her and James as a couple, as well as photos of James with his fellow Marauders. Now, this new album was full of moving pictures of baby Harry, as well as plenty of photos of Lily, James and all of their friends spending time in Godric's Hollow.

Like with her old albums she'd made at Hogwarts, Lily had carefully placed neatly-written labels under all of the pictures, clearly stating the name of the person or people in the photos and the location of each one.

Remus couldn't help noticing that Sirius was pictured with Harry almost as much as James was, and he had to suppress an affectionate smile every time he caught sight of a picture of Sirius.

After they'd looked at the photos for a little while, Lily started to confess to Remus in hushed tones about how she worried sometimes that it was getting to James, not being able to get out as much, and having to wait for Dumbledore's orders and approval before they could take any action.

Remus felt a pang of sympathy for his friend; he knew all too well that back at Hogwarts, James had been used to having the run of the school, and its grounds, and Hogsmeade; he'd constantly been on the move, and he was used to having space and freedom. He was sure it was difficult for James, now that his and his family's movements were more restricted.

"I'm just glad he still has you all to keep him company," Lily told him, with genuine gratitude in her voice.

Before he could sink into more troubled thoughts about where Peter was and whether he was okay and why he hadn't been in touch with Lily and James for what seemed like weeks, James walked into the room and started to help himself to a cup of tea.

"Sirius is still in the living room," he informed them. "Looking very handsome," he added with what seemed like a very significant glance in Remus's direction.

Remus felt a strange rush of anxiety as his heart started to beat a bit faster. What did James even mean by that?

Either way, it seemed like James and Sirius were finished with whatever they'd been doing, and Sirius now wanted to spend some time with Remus.

"Maybe _you_ should go and sit in the living room with Sirius, James?" Lily retorted sarcastically as she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at her husband. "With him being so handsome and all..."

"Nah, you know I could never think _anyone_ was as beautiful as you are, Lils," James smirked at her, turning on the charm.

"Shut up, you prat!" Lily shouted at him as she pretended to swat him on the arm with her wand, but she was also grinning.

Leaving the two of them to their playful bickering, Remus headed in the direction of the living room, for some reason feeling even more anxious with every step closer he took.

* * *

He paused in the open doorway of the living room to take a few deep breaths, but then it felt like his breath was taken away by the sight in front of him.

Sirius was sitting on one of the sofas, carefully holding a sleeping baby Harry in his arms, like he was trying to protect him. He was staring at his godson with a look of total adoration as he gently brushed a few short strands of hair away from the baby's face.

Instantly, Remus's mind flashed back to a scene just like this one a few weeks after Harry was born, when James had been sitting opposite Sirius in this same room.

"I thought you'd always said you didn't like children?" James had asked Sirius with a knowing smirk and a raised eyebrow as Sirius had rocked Harry gently in his arms.

"I've changed my mind," Sirius had simply shrugged, his eyes never leaving Harry's face.

Sirius had adored Harry from the moment he was born, and it was obvious to everyone who saw godfather and godson together that there was already a strong, lasting bond between the two of them.

Remus had always thought that Sirius was the most handsome wizard he'd ever met, but as he stood and watched the little scene in the living room, he wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Sirius look as beautiful as he did in this moment.

And yet, Remus felt the familiar pangs of sadness, and loss. Deep down, he had always thought that it would be nice to have a son, one day, if it hadn't been for his unfortunate 'condition'. He'd dreamed about what it would be like to raise a son with the same love and care that his parents had always shown him; he would have taught his son new spells, and read books to him, and told him all about the wizarding world.

And of course, Remus had secretly always wanted Sirius to be _his_ -he'd always wished that Sirius loved him back, and that they could be together without the prejudice of the wizarding world or the constant threat that the Death Eaters would take them away from one another.

He was in love with Sirius Black. He knew it. He'd always suspected it, of course, but only in recent years had he come to admit it to himself. But he couldn't go there; he couldn't do it. Right from the start, he'd told himself that he was lucky to even be allowed to attend Hogwarts in the first place-lucky to have even a glimpse of a normal life. He was even luckier to have found a group of friends of his own (or, perhaps more accurately, they had found him). Anything beyond that was impossible.

It would be very dangerous, he always told himself, to fall in love. There was his 'furry little problem' to consider, not to mention the reactions of the wizarding world-he'd never even heard of two wizards going out with each other at Hogwarts, so who knew what all the witches and wizards would say about it. And now there was a war going on, and the future was so uncertain.

Not to mention, when it came to Sirius Black, their friendship had already been so delicate, so tentative since that awful 'prank' in fifth year. For a long time after, it had seemed like it was the end of their friendship-even James had started to lose hope that they would ever reconcile. He'd been so glad to have Sirius's friendship again. He had missed him so much at the time, in spite of his anger. He couldn't risk losing that friendship again.

Sometimes, when it came to Sirius Black, Remus felt like he was holding a glass orb that could easily shatter into pieces with one wrong move, one wrong word.

But right now, it was like he was looking at a vision of what he could never have for himself; as though an image of a happy future was being shown to him, but it was a future that he could never really be a part of, could never truly step into. Who knew if there would even _be_ a future for any of them, after the war?

And, all of his excuses and his attempts at logical reasoning didn't prevent that familiar pang of jealousy. Sirius looked so grown up, sitting on the sofa and taking care of Harry. He'd removed his leather jacket now, and he was wearing a simple black shirt, no doubt because he knew that Harry would be more comfortable, resting against the soft fabric. There had to be a reason behind this new-found sense of responsibility.

As much as he still liked jokes and parties and breaking the rules, Sirius definitely seemed more…mature since their Hogwarts years. He was a lot calmer, not as loud, not as obnoxious. He was no longer as interested in planning elaborate practical jokes or getting into pointless arguments with authority figures.

Nowadays, Sirius took a genuine interest in Harry's upbringing, and he often talked about purchasing a home of his own soon, somewhere close to the Potters. He'd made vague comments about finding a more permanent job after the war, settling down…

Remus had started to suspect that Sirius had finally found a girlfriend, and maybe _she_ had inspired this more mature behaviour in him. With another twist of envy, he thought about Marlene, and how she always laughed at Sirius's jokes; how the two of them had always had a lot in common…

"Moony, stop thinking so much and get over here," Sirius whispered with a smirk.

Remus felt a blush creep to his face. Apparently, Sirius had realised that he was standing there without even looking up.

Slowly, hesitantly, he headed towards the sofa and nervously sat down next to Sirius.

He wasn't sure why he felt so unnerved. Normally, it relaxed him, being in this living room. It reminded him of the Gryffindor common room, in a way, with its red furniture and its spell books piled up everywhere and its warm fireplace. On the mantelpiece, there were dozens of framed moving photographs on display, including pictures of all of the Potters' close friends, and fellow Order members, and a photo of Lily, James and Harry, which took pride of place and made the house feel even more like a home.

The two of them sat in silence for a bit, both staring at a sleeping Harry, while Remus thought about how strange it was that Sirius could still make him feel so nervous, could still make him feel like a teenager with a crush.

He thought about all the moments they'd spent together at Hogwarts, the times when they'd secretly cuddled with each other in the dormitory, or simply sat up talking about anything and everything late into the night; the times when Remus had comforted Sirius as he'd cried over all of his family issues, never telling the others about those moments of vulnerability; the times when Sirius had used James's Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the hospital wing at night to visit Remus after particularly painful transformations. He thought about how Sirius had sent long, detailed letters to him by owl post during the summers that they were apart, with none of the typical sarcastic or mocking comments that Sirius often included in his notes to their other friends.

The connection was definitely there between them, but Remus had never believed that their bond was anything more than platonic on Sirius's part.

"Look at you, all grown up," Remus couldn't help whispering to Sirius as Sirius adjusted Harry's blanket.

"Ah, come on, Moony," Sirius responded to him with a smirk and a wink, "we both know that I'm still the immature, arrogant prat from Hogwarts."

Remus laughed, but still, he shook his head, unable to accept this as the full truth. In some ways, Sirius still seemed like the boy who had swaggered up and down the school corridors, but in other ways, it seemed like so much had changed since then. Remus felt an unexpected pang of nostalgia for their Hogwarts years. He hadn't realised before he left school just how much he would miss the place.

"Sometimes, I wonder who exactly has brought about this change in you, Sirius…"

Remus made sure to grin, as though he was just joking around, or like he was simply asking a rhetorical question, but still, he felt a burning curiosity to know if there really _was_ somebody. Sirius's answer might be painful, but maybe in the long run it would be better to know, to no longer have to wonder.

Sirius frowned at Remus as he asked his question, like he was genuinely confused as to what Remus was asking him, and after that he looked a bit uncomfortable, as though there was something he didn't _want_ to share with Remus, which made Remus even more suspicious about the possibility of Sirius already being in a relationship.

And then, just when Remus thought that Sirius wasn't going to say anything at all…

"It's you, Moony."

Remus froze. A strange tension seemed to set in in the room, adding to Remus's complete and utter sense of confusion.

"W-what?" he asked Sirius, even though he knew he sounded like a clueless idiot.

Sirius let out a gentle sigh. "It's all for you."

Remus might have thought that Sirius was joking, if not for the fact that he was uncharacteristically blushing, and he also blinked rapidly a few times, like he was nervous, or uncomfortable.

As his heart started to beat faster and faster, Remus really had to struggle not to gasp in shock or stare at Sirius with wide eyes.

 _He might not mean anything by it,_ the inner, more logical voice in Remus's head told him. _You might be misinterpreting what he's actually saying. Maybe he's just trying to tell you how much your friendship means to him, how much you inspire him to be more mature and responsible…_

Still, now that _something_ had been put out there, on this October afternoon in Godric's Hollow, Remus felt like he had to test the waters, even though those waters might be ice-cold, too deep, too dangerous. Maybe he would sink, but then again, maybe, this time, he would find a way to swim...

With the way things were in the wizarding world, there was no guarantee that any conversations could be repeated, once they had been interrupted. There was never enough time anymore. Whatever he was going to do, he would have to do it now. He would have to come up with something cool, and subtle, and clever...

"I…er…I don't like it when you flirt with Marlene, or with any witches, for that matter" Remus mumbled instead, feeling shy and nervous and ridiculous.

Surprisingly, Sirius burst out laughing at his words. "That's all you've got for me, Moony?" he asked between his gasps of laughter. "After I've just declared my undying love for you!" As he finished speaking, he placed a hand dramatically over his heart, pretending to be heartbroken.

"Wait…after you've just done _what_?!" Remus gasped, unable to help widening his eyes in shock and gaping at his friend. Had Sirius really meant it then, after all? Was he being, well…serious? Had he truly just talked about 'undying love'?

"I thought you already knew, Moons," Sirius shrugged, still sounding uncharacteristically embarrassed.

"N-no, I d-didn't," said Remus, breathlessly.

Harry slept on, apparently unaware that Remus's whole world had just changed with a few words in Lily and James's living room.

"Don't look at me like that, Remus," Sirius suddenly told him, sounding firm now. "I know _exactly_ what you'll try to say about it. I know what you've been thinking and saying about things like this for years! I know you're already planning a long, boring speech about werewolves and prejudice…But there's a war on, for Merlin's sake! We could be dead tomorrow, for all we know! Forget about all those prats in the wizarding world who wouldn't understand! If we can't tell the truth now, then when can we tell it?!"

"B-but, you always flirted with so many pretty girls?"

Remus was fully aware that he had perhaps just said the most pathetic thing ever at the worst possible moment, but apparently he couldn't help himself. His mouth still couldn't catch up with all the jumbled up thoughts in his mind, not to mention all the words that Sirius had just said.

Sirius seemed to take pity on him this time, because he smiled softly at Remus before he muttered, "Come on, Remy, you know that's all for show. If _you'd_ grown up as a member of the Black family, you'd understand. But have you ever actually seen me go on a date with a witch? My tastes have always been more of the 'wizard' kind…and one wizard in particular." He winked at Remus as he finished his sentence.

Remus continued to gape at him, still unsure as to what he was supposed to do now. Finally, he managed to string a sentence together: "D-do you want to go for a drink at some point? Er…at any time?" As he blushed, he gestured vaguely in the direction of the pub that wasn't too far away from James and Lily's cottage in the village.

The pub had always seemed very lively, and wizards and Muggles alike often seemed to gather there of an evening for a pleasant drink. Sometimes, they all broke into song, and the singing could be heard all the way down the road late into the night. It seemed like the sort of place that Sirius would like.

"Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Just kiss me."

And so Remus did just that, slowly and hesitantly of course, taking his time to get into a more comfortable position, running a hand nervously through Sirius's soft, sleek hair as he got closer.

Finally, his lips were on Sirius's lips. The kiss was only tentative at first, a delicate press of lips. Sirius's lips tasted sweet, as though he'd just been eating the best sort of chocolate from Honeydukes. Whatever it was, Remus wanted more of it.

Sirius seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he pulled Remus in even closer, carefully shifting Harry in his arms first, and insistently deepening their kiss.

Remus also tried to pull Sirius in closer (while also trying not to jostle the baby from his comfortable position in his godfather's arms), feeling like they could never be close enough.

It was perfect, all of it; the way their lips and bodies fit together, as though they were truly made for one another. Remus would never have believed that something this good was possible, before now. He finally understood what all those couples at Hogwarts who'd talked about perfect first kisses and feelings of attraction had been going on about.

They really were snogging now, and Remus was _really_ enjoying it, for what felt like the first time ever. He couldn't help thinking about all the tactics he'd employed to avoid snogging girls back at Hogwarts, including hiding out in one of the school bathrooms with only Moaning Myrtle for company one night when the Gryffindors had been drinking Butterbeer at a party in the common room and daring students to snog each other. It definitely hadn't been Remus's finest moment.

But now, he didn't want to run and hide anymore. He wanted Sirius's lips on his for as long as possible; he wanted to do this over and over again. He felt light-headed, a bit dizzy, but in a _good_ way, and his body felt rather tingly.

As he ran a hand through Sirius's hair and gently over his cheek and then down his neck, and Sirius playfully nibbled at his lips before he went in for a full-on kiss again, Remus wondered if this rush of adrenaline, this thrill of elation was similar to the way that Quidditch players felt as they soared through the air towards a victory, feeling as light as a feather but as powerful as a dragon, as though they could take on anyone and everything…

"Anyone for cake…? _Oh_!"

At those surprised-sounding words, which were quickly followed by a loud gasp, the two of them sprang apart only to see James's head peeking around the door. He was staring at the two of them with his mouth open and his eyes wide. Remus knew he shouldn't be surprised by the interruption-James had always had the worst possible timing in every single situation.

"Out! Now!" Remus heard Lily's voice call out to James. He and Sirius caught a brief glimpse of her hand as she reached in to drag him out of the room.

"About bloody time, you idiots!" Remus heard James shout out from the hall, before he heard Lily tell him to shut up.

"Really captures the depth and the emotion of the moment, doesn't it?" Sirius muttered sarcastically.

Remus couldn't help it-he started to laugh. This whole situation was just so bizarre, so unexpected, so incredible.

Sirius smirked along with him, his face still so close to Remus's.

Remus braved another quick kiss, and another, before he started to blush as the realisation of what James had just witnessed finally hit him. He hid his face in Sirius's shoulder as he groaned in embarrassment. In spite of his mortification, he couldn't help thinking (not for the first time) about how good Sirius smelled.

"Prongsy'll get over it, Moony," said Sirius, still sounding like there was laughter in his voice. "Well, in a month or two, anyway…"

Remus moved away from the shelter of Sirius's shoulder to look at him again, taking in the delicate beauty of his features.

"It's always been you, Moony," Sirius whispered to him, his expression quickly turning serious again as he looked Remus right in the eye.

Suddenly, Remus felt his eyes fill with tears. He blinked rapidly, trying to stop them from falling.

"We could have had _years_ ," he whispered to Sirius, his voice full of emotion, now fully feeling the regret of not saying something sooner, of not being brave enough to admit his feelings, now he knew that Sirius felt the same way, now he knew what it felt like to kiss him.

He thought longingly of all the care-free years they could have spent together at Hogwarts; all those times when Lily and James had been strolling through the grounds or visiting Hogsmeade as a couple, and he and Sirius could have been doing the exact same thing. Those happy memories could have got him through so many dark times if he and Sirius had ever been separated in the midst of the war. And now there were even more dark times ahead, and time could be running out…

"Don't talk like that, Moony," Sirius told him, firmness behind his gentle tone, and a look of fear in his eyes. Apparently, it wasn't as bad when Sirius went all dramatic and talked about how they could all be dead tomorrow; it was different, somehow, when Remus talked about it-more of a real, logical possibility. "We _will_ have years together," he continued to insist. "And we'll go for drinks together here next weekend. I expect you to buy me something very cheap and Muggle-looking to drink-the sort of thing that would give my mother nightmares," he winked, apparently trying to lighten the mood with his typical humour. "And you can take my leather jacket off for me at the end of the night, if you want," he continued with what might have been a leer, while Remus blushed bright red, feeling embarrassed as he wondered if his not-so-innocent thoughts had been written all over his face out in the hall earlier when he'd been staring at Sirius in his jacket.

"I'd like that," Remus replied to him with a fond grin, ignoring Sirius's previous comment and trying to forget about everything else for a bit, trying to imagine that he was just a boy with no other real worries who had finally got the boy he fancied to agree to go on a date with him. He also pointedly ignored James, who was shouting loudly and obnoxiously from the kitchen, asking them both when the wedding was.

As though to prove his point, or to remind him what they were all fighting for in the first place, Sirius handed a still-sleeping Harry over to Remus, and Remus held him protectively in his arms while Sirius leaned his head on his shoulder, showing his rare vulnerable side that only Remus and James ever really got to see.

Still keeping his right arm wrapped around baby Harry, Remus used his left hand to gently stroke Sirius's hair, finally feeling content for what felt like the first time in months. This was exactly where he was supposed to be, and he knew it.

He leaned in even closer to Sirius, trying desperately to hold on to all of this for as long as possible: his almost-boyfriend; his almost-happy-ending; his almost-victory; his almost-family.


End file.
